The Story So Far...
It feels like I just started making zines a few months ago, but the reality is, I've been making zines since 2022, and my life has changed drastically since - I have found myself in new places, meeting new friends, and exploring life in ways I never would think possible. And it all started with a zine called Pax Druidica.
Pax Druidica was a love letter to myself - a challenge that only I could overcome and create, and from that sprung a wellspring of creativity that still echoes through my work to this day. From this, came Starry Blue, a prose piece written for the Text Heavy Zine Jam on Itch.io it forced me to grow beyond what I had done before, by digging deep into my writing.
THE SUNSHINE PARADOX
The third zine in my series, The Sunshine Paradox. With this piece, a lot of things clicked into place for me, especially coming to terms with my identity stuff, the things that really drive and inspire me, and my own mental health journey. Very yellow themed, and I talk a lot about wanting to eat as many colours as I can this year (I ate over 15). This zine also made it into the Free Zine Week bundle on Itch.io which is so so so cool, actually being recognized for my work.
For the past year, I've been going to KW Zinetopia every month, it's really forced me outside of my comfort zone and I work really hard to be able to do that (socializing isn't the easiest for me, and it's a large barrier). However, everyone I've met through Zinetopia has been absolutely amazing - it really is an incredible bunch of people and I hope I can be that cool someday. It has also made me more cognizant of the work I have been putting into myself, and how far I've come over these past few years.
EVERYTHING STAYS
This was a hard one, I finally took the manuscript I had going for a couple years now and what was once "Confessions of the Broken Hearted" became Everything Stays, named after the Adventure Time song. I finally finished it and holy shit it forced me to confront a lot of my past, the events that have led me to where I am today, as well as my growth and blossoming over the past few years.
It was during this period that my grandmother died, and that was so fucking hard on me. I am still having trouble with the grief but I am trying my best everyday for you, Nanny. I also lost my cats, Helios, and Luna, which is gut wrenching for me because I loved them both so so much. Losing a lot this year has really forced me to put things into perspective around death and dying a lot more, and it's something I want to be able to learn to cope better with, especially because it is unavoidable.
VENOM + VINE
I really came into myself this year, my Saturn return. Part of that was stepping into my own personal power again, learning to embrace my spirit wholeheartedly and embrace my spirituality and witchcraft even more. That is where Venom + Vine was born, on the crossroads of change where Hekate has been guiding me for years, unknowingly. My practice has reached a new level and I am able to do my work effectively and with more intention. I've been devoted fully to Hekate for a few months now, and it's been eye opening. I've been working through Jack Grayle's The Hekataeon, as well as Jeff Cullen's Liber Khthonia and they've been working in tandem to create a sustainable, modern yet traditional witchcraft practice. I've also been experimenting with the PGM (The Greek Magical Papyri).
NIGHTBIRD, TENDER HEART, WITHOUT SHAME
It's been a wild few weeks, I recently went to Tkaronto for Zinedump! A new zine fair that was so much fun, and run by a bunch of really cool people. It was really nerve wracking for me, and my anxiety made it a bit hard to socialize with people, but overall I had a blast! I can't wait for next year, it's gonna be great! It also taught me a lot about where my artistic direction is going especially within regards to self publishing.
I've decided that barring special cases, my zines from now on are going to be in black & white, just for the convenience of it as well to focus on the more punk ethos of zines, and zine culture. I also want to incorporate value and contrast into my work a bit more as well. The zines that have been birthed from this new era are weird, wonderful, and informative. There's a zine on Hekate, Nightbird - a ranting on community, mutual aid, and power to the people. Tender Heart, a musing on self care, kindness, acceptance, and love. And my most intimate one yet, Without Shame - A NSFW exploration into queer love, being transgender, the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and wanting and desiring sex. It's a good one, and I'm very proud of the work I've created this year, it's been intense and world changing.
I don't know where the rest of this year is going but I am going to try and be more open about it, and what I am doing. I want to express myself in new and old ways and actually work through my life in a way that is honorable and beautiful. I know this is a challenge, but I feel strongly about it and the direction I am going, and I believe that I can keep going despite the pain, the grief, the emotion. There's so much to experience about the world and I am learning to love that more and more each day.